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Now You Can Fix Your Cankles! |
 Ever since Hillary Clinton stopped wearing pantsuits and started showing off her tantalizingly thick ankles, the world has been celebrating cankles. Unfortunately, for some reason, some people think they're a bad thing.
So plastic surgeons have developed a lipo procedure to de-chubbify a person's cankles, and get them back down to boring, regular-sized ankles. It costs about $5,000 and apparently it's really taking off.
Some people develop cankles when they gain weight, but for other people, their bodies are just genetically programmed to store fat in the ankle region.
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Man Gets Most Expensive Speeding Ticket Ever |
 It's hard to find records on this, but there's a good chance that a man in Switzerland just set a world record for the most expensive speeding ticket ever.
The guy is identified as a 37-year-old from Sweden, but his name hasn't been released. He was driving a new $500,000 Mercedes-Benz Gullwing and doing 187 miles-per-hour in a 75 zone.
Now he's looking at a fine of almost $1.1 million because in Switzerland they base speeding tickets on the income of the person driving. Swiss prosecutors believe it's the biggest speeding fine ever.
For reference, the guy said the speedometer on his car was faulty, which is why he was going 187.
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iPhone Users Have More Sex |
 Good news, iPhone people. Your phone may have terrible reception but at least you get to use a lot of contraception!
The online dating site OKCupid.com just ran a huge analysis of all of their members' profiles. And for one of their tests, they found all of their users who have smartphones and analyzed their number of sexual partners.
What they found: iPhone users have the most sexual relations of any smartphone owners. By a pretty big margin.
The average 30-year-old male iPhone owner has had an even 10 sexual partners. The average 30-year-old female iPhone owner has had more... 12.3 partners.
BlackBerry owners have the second-most sex. The average 30-year-old male BlackBerry owner has had 8.1 sexual partners . . . for women, it's 8.8.
Android owners have had the fewest. For the average 30-year-old male Android owner, it's six sexual partners. For women, it's 6.1.
In all three cases, the women averaged more sexual partners than the men.
They used age 30 as a benchmark but, from age 18 all the way through age 40 the difference stays the same . . . iPhone users have the most sex, then BlackBerry users, then Android users.
The most interesting comparison may be age 18. iPhone users have had an average of almost four sexual partners by that point, BlackBerry users average less than one, and Android users average less than 0.5.
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An Amazing Combo of Fetishes |
 Today's Idiot Criminal of the Day possesses a rare combination of fetishes. From what we can tell he's got an exhibition fetish, a mannequin fetish, and quite possibly, an amputee fetish too.
On Sunday morning, the police got a call about a man furiously molesting himself in the middle of a public park in Malden, West Virginia. He was in plain view of passing motorists, a residential area, and a church.
And when they got there, it was even worse than they thought.
61-year-old Eddie M. Campbell of Belle, West Virginia, was sitting on a bench, his shirt was off, his pants were around his ankles,he was having his way with himself,and had an armless mannequin on his lap.
He was holding the mannequin with one arm and his junk with the other. When the officer identified himself, Eddie threw the mannequin off and said he was, quote, "just trying to have a little fun."
The Kanawha County Sheriff's Office is trying to have fun with this too: They wrote in a press release, quote, "We have yet to interview the mannequin, so [we] are unsure if it was picked up off the street or the two met for a date in the park."
Eddie has been charged with indecent exposure.
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Who's Having Cybersex? Everyone |
 There are 25 million people in this world who have apparently mastered the skill of typing with one hand.
According to a new survey, approximately 25 million people have cybersex on a daily basis.
Another 40 million don't do it daily, but they type dirty on a regular basis.
And overall, 150 million people have tried cybersex at some point in their lives. That's more than 2% of the world's population.
98% of them deny that they've done it.
The survey also found that about 10% of people are up for taking their cybersex to the next level by using video.
One more thing: By 2015, when the Internet is even more common, it's estimated that about one out of six people in the world will have tried cybersex.
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Men Are More Concerned About Going Gray Than Going Bald |
 These are the results from a survey of British men so either they have very different vanity issues than we do or I was asleep on the day that everyone decided going bald isn't that bad.
The survey asked men to name their biggest concern about their appearance, and going gray actually beat out balding. Here are the top five concerns, in order:
#1.) Having their hair turn gray.
#2.) Balding.
#3.) Unwanted nose, ear and body hair.
#4.) Being overweight.
#5.) Yellow teeth.
The survey also found that men really start becoming unhappy with their looks at age 45.
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