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Fantasy Football Wednesdays

Aug 08, 2014 -- 1:21pm


Fantasy Football with Ty by Hot 96.7 on Mixcloud


Fearless Viking Predictions!

Aug 07, 2014 -- 6:25pm

The Vikings open their season tomorrow night against the Raiders - and optimism is in the air here in Mankato.  Expectations are not very high for the Vikings this year, according to the experts.  The great thing about the 'experts' however, is that most of the time they are wrong!

If you are a fan of the Purple - but you don't want to have to actually sit through all 16 games this season, don't worry.  I have taken the time to forecast the outcome of every game this year, so fear not!  You don't even have to watch a single game....just read below, and you will know exactly how this season will turn out for the Vikings.  Here we go - hint, hint - get your playoff tickets now, lol!

Here are weeks 1-4, guaranteed, lol!

Week 1 at St. Louis Rams - WIN (30-24) - The Rams haven't been any good since Bill Clinton's first term. SKOL!

Week 2 vs. New England Patriots - WIN (19-13) - Tom Brady gets injured on the escalator at Mall of America, and has a bad game. We'll take it.

Week 3 at New Orleans Saints - WIN (33-30) - The Vikes have been waiting a long time for some payback from that NFC Championship Game loss a few years ago.  Brett Favre can't throw this one away. LOL

Week 4 vs. Atlanta Falcons - WIN (23-7) - The "D" is fantastic, the home crowd is raucous, and A.P. runs wild on the Falcons!

So far so good.  We are 4-0 after the first month.

If only it were this easy!

Ty's Weirdos for the Week!

Jul 09, 2014 -- 7:23pm

Have you ever seen someone out in public, or maybe even on TV - and you think to yourself,"What in the world is wrong with that guy/gal?  Me too, we probably all have.  Well, with that in mind, I found a few people this week that absolutely deserve to be made fun of.  Sometimes I do stupid stuff......but not this stupid, lol!  Check these stories out.

1) HORSIN' AROUND - In Alabama, police recently arrested a 45-year old woman who was attempting to rob a liquor store ON HORSEBACK!  When the cops arrived, they found the horse tied up in front of the store, with a bag of Keystone Light cans hanging from the saddle.  When police entered the store the woman was demanding cigarettes, and threatening store employees with a screwdriver.  Upon being arrested, the woman was heard screaming,"Just take care of Dino!" - Dino is living a comfortable, crime free life on a nearbye farm - while his former owner is sitting in jail.  Nowadays, I don't think anyone can get away with ANY CRIME ON HORSEBACK! LOL

2) WHAT'S THAT SMELL! - The police in Berlin, Germany got calls about a foul odor that was coming from inside an apartment.  The cops, thinking there was a dead body inside, prepared for the worst.  When they broke down the door, they found the tenant (a 24 year old male) sleeping next to a giant pile of dirty laundry.  The clothes, along with the man's dirty feet, were responsible for the smell.  Neighbors that were two blocks away were complaining about the stench.  How funky does a guy have to be to be offending neighbors that are a half mile away?  Can you be thrown in jail for being too stinky?  Maybe you should.

3) MAN FINDS GOD....KINDA - In Baton Rouge, Louisiana - there is a chef that claims he found God in an eggplant.  I will explain.  He was cutting open an eggplant, and he claims that the seeds inside the eggplant very clearly spelled out the word 'GOD'.  He claims it is a life-changing miracle.  So, if you are looking to find God - I suggest starting in the produce department! LOL

Parade Season Is Here!

Jul 02, 2014 -- 6:31pm

One of the best parts of the summer is all of the parades in our area.  I always love going out to the parades to see, and meet, our listeners and their families.  Parade season gets into full swing this weekend, starting on Friday with all of the 4th of July festivities in St. Peter.  Here is a list of the upcoming parades that Hot 96.7 will be at - I hope to see you at one of them!

-- Friday July 4th - Parade in St. Peter at 10 am starting on South Washington Ave.  It's gonna be a fun day in St. Peter - for a complete list of activities, click http://www.stpeterchamber.com/4th-of-july.

-- Saturday July 12th - North Mankato Fun Days Parade at 11am. Full list of events at http://www.northmankatofundays.com/2014FunDaysSchedule.final.pdf

-- Sunday July 13th - Farm City Funfest Parade in Winthrope, 2pm.  
The entire weekend line-up at http://www.winthropminnesota.com/index.asp?Type=B_BASIC&SEC=%7B88ACAEDE-0E40-45DD-88F5-D1D871A80D1A%7D

-- Wednesday July 16th - Festag Days Parade in Minnesota Lake, 7pm.  For all the info http://minnesotalake.com/7-2/

-- Saturday July 19th - Tator Days Parade in Eagle Lake, 1pm.  For the entire weekend line-up click http://www.eaglelakemn.com/sub/community-events/

-- Sunday July 20th - Bavarian Blast Parade in New Ulm, 12:30pm.  More info on Bavarian Blast at http://bavarianblast.com/

-- Saturday July 26th - Paddlefish Days Parade in Madison Lake, 1pm.  For more visit http://www.paddlefishdays.com/scheduleofevents.htm


I sincerely hope to see you and yours at one of these parades in the month of July!

Why I Love The World Cup!

Jun 17, 2014 -- 7:40pm

I have recently caught "World Cup Fever" - especially after the United States' victory over Ghana yesterday.  So, to help the casual observer, I have come up with a short list of my three favorite aspects of this World Cup.  Here you go.

1) The USA's team is not very well respected by the other teams and nations of the world - simply put - they don't think that we are very good.  No problem!  That means there is absolutely no pressure on our boys - and they can play free and easy, as they did yesterday.  Forget WINNING the World Cup, if the United States can just make it past the quarter finals - it will have been our best World Cup ever!  That is a very real possibility.

2) I love that Brazil is basically in the same time zone that we are in.  Therefore, all the games, not just the U.S. games, are televised at a decent hour, just as if they were being played here, in the midwest somewhere.  We will appreciate this more in 4 years when the World Cup is in Russia, and we are forced to watch our American squad play at 3am!

3) The World Cup seems like the ultimate party - and there is no doubt that there is 'mucha fiesta' going on in Brazil this month.  There is constant; music, singing, and dancing.  Everyone appears to be in a great mood, whether their team wins, loses, or draws.  After all, its just a game.  Great sportsmanship is shown by all 32 teams. We Americans should take a cue from that.

So, don't forget our American slogan for our team - "I believe that we will win."

Keep those fingers crossed - and lets hope for another big win against Portugal on Sunday!

Relationship 101 is Here!

Jun 02, 2014 -- 6:25pm

Everyone could use some informative, and helpful, relationship advice.  I am in no way the one that should be giving it, however! LOL.  That is why when we do "Relationship 101" every Tuesday @6:15pm - I throw the question out to you, the listener.  I will take your calls and messages, and we will talk about other people's relationship issues.  We will try to help them out, but we are sure to have quite a few hearty laughs along the way, as well.  

Among the relationship questions we will tackle in the upcoming weeks, are;

1)  What to do when your BF/GF is chained to their phone 24/7, even sleeps with it.  What does that mean?

2) "My bf still talks to his ex and her family ALL THE TIME, and they do not have kids!  Going berzerk, what should I do?"

3) My new bf is terrible in bed, and does absolutely nothing that pleases me physically - how do I fix this?

4) The wife has put on 80 pounds since the wedding, and she never wears make up anymore, or dresses nice.  I am not really attracted to her anymore. Help?

5) "I only get sex when my gf is drunk.  I want the sex, but I don't want to be with someone who is drunk all the time.  What should I do?

6) My new gf is allergic to cats, and I have 3 of them.  I'm not giving up my pets, but I really like this girl, and I want her to want to come over to my place.  How can I fix this?


Do any of these problems look familiar?  Then you can certainly help someone out!  Make sure you listen for Relationship 101 - every Tuesday @6:15pm.

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