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Cap'n Crunch is Living a Lie! The Stripes on His Sleeve Mean He's a Commander Not a Captain

Jun 19, 2013 -- 6:43am

The Internet is SPECTACULAR at ruining our childhood memories, and this is no exception. The latest revelation? CAP'N CRUNCH isn't really a captain.

Someone noticed that the Cap'n only has THREE stripes on his sleeves, not four. Three stripes on the sleeve mean you're a COMMANDER in the U.S. Navy, not a captain. FOUR stripes mean you're a captain.

 

There's some speculation that he was modeled after a French naval captain which is called a capitaine de frégate who would only have three stripes. But why would Cap'n Crunch be French? Makes no sense, man.

Wendy's is Selling a Nine-Patty Cheeseburger Called the "T-Rex"

Jun 13, 2013 -- 6:27am

We FINALLY have a good excuse for you to pull the trigger on that dream vacation you've always wanted to take to Manitoba, Canada. A Wendy's in Brandon, in southern Manitoba, is selling a burger you're REALLY going to want to try...

It's called the T-Rex and it features NINE Wendy's square hamburger patties and nine pieces of cheese. It costs about $21.50 in American dollars.  There apparently aren't any plans to sell this at other Wendy's locations, so it's Manitoba or bust.

 

Men Don't Reach Until Age...

Jun 12, 2013 -- 8:12am
With just one study, I think we can explain every single thing you've observed in your marriage . . . and all your friends' marriages too.
 
 A new study has found that the average man doesn't become fully emotionally mature until age 43.  And that's WAY later than women.  Women are mature at age 32 . . . a full 11 years earlier.
 
 About EIGHT out of 10 women surveyed say they don't think men EVER get mature.  And they also RANKED the most immature things guys do.  Here's the top 15 . . .
 
 
1.  Finding it HILARIOUS when they burp or pass gas.
 
2.  Eating fast food at 2:00 A.M.
 
3.  Playing video games.
 
4.  Driving too fast.
 
5.  Laughing at swear words.
 
6.  Playing loud music when they drive.
 
7.  Playing practical jokes.
 
8.  Trying too hard to beat kids at games and sports.
 
9.  Staying quiet during arguments.
 
10.  Not being able to cook simple meals.
 
11. Re-telling the same stupid jokes and stories when they're with their guy friends.
 
12.  Not wanting to talk about themselves.
 
13.  Hating books, because they think they're "boring" or because they have a short attention span.
 
14.  Doing crazy dance moves.
 
15.  Letting their mom do their laundry.
 
 
In from the text club:
 
4341 - I listen to the Big Hot Morning Show every day. How's that for maturity?
 
8930 - Sometimes when I get really angry I can't help it and Have a tantrum - stomp up the stairs and slam the bedroom door. FYI I am 27.
 
8383 - Dutch Oven baby!!!
 
3795 - Using nicknames for adults or over using the words dude or like.
 
8576 - Getting arrested for fighting. It happened to my boyfriend last week. 
 
2115 - He gets nuckles deep in nose picking
 
7542 - Getting a nrb
 
7580 - Lights his farts on fire he's 33
 
4171 - While he has a nrb
 
0051 - Letting your dog poop in the neighbors yard!

Where Is The Freakiest Place You've Gotten It On?

Jun 07, 2013 -- 7:52am

 

Johnny admits that he's a prude when it comes to "doing it" anywhere other than the bedroom. Since Johnny came clean it was Cari's turn. She admitted the craziest place she "did it" was in her Dad's tractor. Listeners wanted to share their hot spots and this is what happened on the text club:

 

1734 - Church parking lot

2966 - In an empty movie theater

6934 - Bathroom at Pagliai's

4456 - Stairwell at a hotel or a boat right off the shore line

3986 - Next to a bonfire with my in-laws sleeping in a camper 10 feet away from us!

3050 - Up against an elementary school picture window

6910 - Cemetery

0526 - Portapotty at a concert at Jackpot Junction Casino

1912 - Backroom at Buster's Bar

9813 - We broke in a new tow truck the right way

3001 - Glass elevator in the Holiday Inn in Golden Valley

7652 - In my Grandma's garage

2870 - In our above ground pool in the backyard. It's not fenced in and the neighbor wandered over with her dogs.

3235 - An elevator

9379 - Grocery store bathroom

6345 - A sauna at a hotel

4396 - On the couch in the lounge area of my college residence hall 

2115 - Our bay window in our new house. No shades and the neighbors could see everything!

7299 - Deer stand

3609 - MSU Basement

 

A Town is Cracking Down on People Who Don't Pick Up Their Dog Poop... By Mailing It to Them!

Jun 06, 2013 -- 8:20am

There's nothing worse than neighbors who let their dogs poop everywhere, and don't pick it up. And there's a town in central Spain called Brunete that came up with a hilarious way to deal with it.

 

A few months back, they started a campaign to get dog owners to stop leaving their poop on the lawns and sidewalks. First, they had a team of volunteers secretly wander the streets, looking for people who didn't pick up after their dogs.

 

When a volunteer saw someone leave poop behind, they'd walk up to the person and strike up a conversation. And during the conversation, they'd find out the dog's name and breed. They'd also pick up the poop. Afterward, they'd plug the dog's info into the city's pet database to figure out who owned the dog and where they lived.  Then they'd take the dog poop the person left behind, put it in a box that said 'Lost Property,' and MAIL it to their house.

 

In one week, they mailed 147 packages of dog feces to owners who left it behind. Since then they say they've seen a 70% drop in the amount of dog poop on the streets. 

4% of Men Suffer Temporary Insanity When They Go Bald!

Jun 05, 2013 -- 6:41am

If you're a guy and you've still got your hair, or a woman who doesn't understand why going bald is such a big deal to men . . . maybe these statistics will give you a clue. Check out these numbers from a new survey on baldness:

 

13% of bald men say when they first started feeling truly bald it affected their relationship.

 

4% take it even further and say they went TEMPORARILY INSANE when they lost their hair.

 

25% of bald men would give up a pay raise this year to get their hair back 17% would give up sex for a year 36% would give up their favorite football team, and 38% would give up alcohol for a year! Eek!

 

23% would, quote, "give up their mother-in-law" to get their hair back.  We're not entirely sure what that means are these guys saying they'd MURDER their wife's mom to get their hair back?

 

And finally, 10% of bald men would give up a year of their life to get their hair back. 

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